I feel like I'm the personification of stress right now.

The first month is over. And there are still four months left before the semester ends. I'm so tired that I feel like the semester is almost over. I'm not even half-way there! Every day is a busy day, seriously. I don't even have time to bring my clothes to laundry service. I go home late and I go to school early. My body feels so used. And I have this problem in coping with stress, it started just this month. I'm trying so hard to break the habit. Maybe I should switch to ice cream instead.

Thesis. My adviser is asking too much from my thesis. I don't even know where to start. And I have three unidentified specimens. I hope they're new species :>

Org stuff. 'Nuff said.

Cell biology, animal physiology, plant systematics. They're killing me. I can't wait to graduate and leave for med school. I want a fresh start. A reset. No history.

I'm thinking of getting a planner because I have so many deadlines to beat. Every week I have at least two things to submit or accomplish. But I scrapped that idea of getting myself a planner because (1) so far, I have never missed a deadline and (2) I don't want my life planned. I mean, I have plans - go to med school, travel around the world, have Siberian huskies. It's just that I feel my whole life has been planned since I was little and all I get to decide are minor ones like which courses to take this semester, what to wear today, who to be friends with. With a planner, I'll feel even more pressured. I just need a little spontaneity, that's all.

You know what, it's funny I still have time to think about other things with all those deadlines in my head. I still get the chance to stop and spare a thought for you. Maybe I'll just study more and get better than average grades. Or maybe jog around the campus to lose all the weight I accumulated from stress-eating/drinking. Maybe write a story or learn a new song in the piano. I don't know. Anything to fill those gaps in my clock. Because lately I have been longing to find someone to talk/rant to after each stressful day. Oh wait. There's Frank.

Sem-Starter Post

I should be telling you how exciting (and equally tiring) my summer was - chasing dragonflies and damselflies, climbing mountains, and swimming in the beach, but let me tell you tell you how I feel right now first.

School starts tomorrow and like most students, I'm not yet ready. Not even a little. My class starts at 7:30 AM and I'm still here at home, which means I have to travel around two hours to be at school before class. You see, I haven't found an apartment yet. I'm not even enrolled yet! I guess the best thing that happened to me this week was getting my thesis proposal approved. And maybe slowly starting to get a grip on my chairperson responsibilities whatever. Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. This is the first time I proved to myself that high school is way different from college. That college is not just high school with more expensive books, like Serena van der Woodsen once said. And for the first time since that stupid summer, I felt like myself again, alive and strong. But still, those responsibilities are killing me. I never get some me-time! And then there's my thesis. Thank God, I'm halfway done with it. But my thesis adviser's really, really keen in dissecting your paper; he won't stop until you're sweating blood.

I'd like to start telling you about my summer and show you photos of my dragonfly and damselfly collection, but I need a place to stay in until Thursday night. I need to find a place I can settle in until even just the end of the semester. I'm sorry for the shameless ranting, but I bet no one reads this blog anyway. It's just that...I'm not spending the night drinking and celebrating the beginning of the semester like I always do. But things change. And so do people.

PS

See my About Me section over there? It says there GRADUATING, yay! But I don't really want to leave. Not just yet.