tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60793138795749743542024-03-14T15:57:59.363+08:00BanyuhayAlyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-55655111123572722132014-07-09T10:10:00.001+08:002014-07-09T10:12:47.925+08:00A Glance<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">“A world could be made
in five pages, and one that was more pleasing than a model farm. The childhood
of a spoiled prince could be framed within half a page, a moonlit dash through
sleepy villages was one rhythmically emphatic sentence, falling in love could
be achieved in a single word — a glance. The pages of a recently finished story
seemed to vibrate in her hand with all the life they contained.” –Ian McEwan,
Atonement<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I closed my copy of Ian McEwan’s Atonement to take a sip of
chai tea latte. And there it was – a glance. Leaning back against his chair, he
lifted his eyes from the tablet he was holding. The man sitting across me looked
at my direction and smiled. I was
shocked. I stared at him for what seemed like several minutes before I thought
of smiling back. Of course I returned the gesture, but it came too late. It was
just a glance. He looked back down at his tablet, his baseball cap concealing
half of his face. I took a sip from my
drink, and continued reading my book.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But unlike Briony Tallis, I was not writing a story; I was
living my life. I have seen greens and blues and the silver disc that is the
moon. I have been excited and elated, and have felt the rain touch my skin as I
danced in the puddles outside our house. I have experienced anger and pain and
heartbreak, and have caught my ex-lover sleeping with another woman in our
apartment. I was in the real world, and falling in love could not be achieved
by a gesture as simple as a glance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I stared at my book and pretended to read, while I allow my
deepest thoughts – those thoughts I force myself to overlook – rush into my
mind. <i>The breakup. Tipsy nights. Drunken
fights and drunken mistakes. Friends fighting. Awkward kisses. Impulsive
confessions. Bridges burning. </i>There were even problems about college and
family.<i> </i>After just a few seconds, it
was already too much. All those thinking had made me feel queasy. I took
another sip and thought of my friend who was seated across my seat. It would
take more than a glance to fall in love, more than a few dates and gifts, and
more than a few silly fights. It would take more and more. Him, finding
himself. Him, proving himself. Him, getting over history.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was a lie that changed Cecilia Tallis and Robbie Turner’s
lives forever. A lie which separated the two until their deaths. I put back my
cup on the table and took a glance at him. I felt nothing. No butterflies that flutter by and perch on
daffodils in the meadows. No birds chirping in a singsong melody. No fireworks
in a dark, evening sky. Nothing. And there I said it – the lie that changed our
lives forever.</span></div>
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Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-55684145728480180232014-03-02T13:13:00.000+08:002014-03-02T13:25:21.582+08:00A Valentine Trip<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In my previous post I said that I was on my way to Baguio. I traveled to Sagada with three of my friends. It was a 12-hour travel, 6 hours from Cubao to Baguio City, and another 6 from Baguio City to Sagada. We caught the first trip to Sagada which is at 6 AM. We made a new friend during the bus ride from Baguio to Sagada. She's from Canada and she's traveling alone, so we invited her to join us. And then our adventure began.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Day 1: Cave Connection</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After our 12-hour bus ride, we immediately checked into our accommodation, grabbed lunch, and went straight to Lumiang Cave, a burial cave. We had to slither our way in and out of narrow passages and feel our way around the cave. We had only gas lamp, the one that the tour guides brought. We didn't have any flashlights so it was really hard to be the last person in the group. The second and the last cave was Sumaguing Cave. Its highlights were the beautiful stalactites and stalagmites. Most of the time we would have to walk across pools of water - it was freezing! So after sliding down rocks, crawling into deep passages, soaking our feet in freezing water, climbing up and down ropes, we finally got out. We finished the activity within 3 hours - we thought we would never get out before sunset! My knees got really wobbly during the second half of the tour so I had to crouch. We were almost convinced that we would leave the cave as quadrupeds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clockwise from top left: Quick lunch before our cave connection tour; Pau, Cyndi, and Ell at the mouth of Lumiang Cave; view from the viewing deck before the start of cave connection; stacks of coffins in Lumiang Cave.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clockwise from top left: Mini Banaue Rice Terraces; King's Curtain at Sumaguing Cave; pool of freezing water; Pau, Moran, and Ell waiting to slide down; Pau and Ell celebrating our completion of the cave connection tour.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For dinner we stuffed ourselves with lemon pies and chicken <i>adobo </i>from the Sagada Lemon Pie House. I know <i>adobo </i>is made in different variations,<i> </i>but theirs was the most unusual I have ever tasted - it tastes like <i>menudo</i>. Their mountain tea was nice too. The rest of the night we spent drinking cherry wine by the fireplace, exchanging stories and learning about our new friend's culture.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clockwise from top left: Sagada Lemon Pie House; dinner at the same restaurant; my chicken <i>adobo</i>; the fireplace in our common room; Ell, Moran, and Pau drinking wine by the fireplace.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Day 2: The Church of St. Mary the Virgin, Echo Valley, and Hanging Coffins</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Getting up in the morning was a struggle mainly because it was very cold and our muscles were aching. We broke our fast at Sagada Brew - it was the best breakfast I have had since I can't remember. We walked around the neighborhood until we got to the Church of St. Mary the Virgin. It was a Sunday so a mass was being held. Further walking led us to the local cemetery where we met kids who volunteered to take us to the hanging coffins. We walked along Echo Valley where, you guessed it, everything you shout, the mountains would shout back to you. We still wanted to see the underground river, but we had to catch the last trip to Baguio City which is at 1 PM.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clockwise from top left: Moran's gift to us; Purdy's chocolates from Moran; my breakfast - tuna omelet, toast with butter and strawberries, salad, and a nice cup of hot mint chocolate with marshmallows; Ell and Pau enjoying their breakfast at Sagada Brew.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Basically our walk around the neighborhood. Clockwise from top left: Cyndi in one of the souvenir shops; a view of the houses in Sagada; your usual Sunday morning in Sagada - baseball; blueberries.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="text-align: start;">Clockwise from top left: Ancient bell </span>at the Church of St. Mary the Virgin<span style="text-align: start;">; Sunday morning mass - also the first time I entered the church this year; a view of the altar; Ell successfully climbed a tree at the back of the church.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Clockwise from top left: Pau walking around the local cemetery; hanging coffins; UP Diliman alumnae we met at the cemetery; Cyndi on her way down Echo Valley.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A closer view of the hanging coffins and the chairs in which they were fixed into fetal position - they believe in rebirth in the afterlife. Other natives today no longer rest in that position; thus, the longer coffins.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We reached the bus terminal just in time - we got the last nice seats left. It was still a quarter to 1, so we begged the driver to wait for us while we buy <i>pasalubong. </i>I bought coffee for my dad, and blueberry jam and blueberry wine for that guy I left on Valentine's Day. I also bought him a postcard <strike>as a Valentine card because I'm a hipster</strike> because I wasn't able to buy him a Valentine card.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Day 2: Pizza Volante</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After enjoying the breathtaking views of mountains from the bus, we finally arrived in Baguio City. We had not eaten lunch yet, so we had a very delightful dinner instead at Pizza Volante. Hours flew by fast and we finally found ourselves sitting in a bus back to Cubao. I looked out the window and watched as we drove past houses and other vehicles as I always do when I ride buses, thinking how the weekend passed that fast and that I would be going back to work the next morning. Getting off at Cubao was like waking up from a wonderful dream you never wanted to be over, not just yet. I'm certainly doing this again - traveling with friends. But in the meantime, I would have to finish my master's degree first.</span></div>
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Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-61924880911653178782014-03-01T20:30:00.001+08:002014-03-02T13:20:56.336+08:00A Very Different Valentine's Day<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is late, but here goes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">February 14, 2014 was the best Valentine's Day I have had in years. Yes, in years. It was also the most unusual Valentine's Day I have had in years because (1) I did not spend it with a guy - the same guy, and (2) I spent it with my friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">On the eve of Valentine's Day I was at the UP Fair with my friends. Honestly, it was also the best UP Fair experience I ever had because (1) I was not with that same guy and his <i>brods</i>, and (2) I was not bothered thinking, "Why do you intentionally hurt me by doing things I don't like?" It was a perfect night even after I saw him there. Wearing that frat shirt. With that same girl he left me for. With that same girl who disrespected me. I have to admit I was deeply affected by that because he was with that same girl. I could have let it pass if he were with someone else. And then I realized that maybe it was the way of the universe to tell me, "I know you're already prepared to see this. He might not take it well if you switched situations. The next time you see them, I'm sure you'll do better." Anyway, thank god for my <i>orgmates </i>and my graduate friends for offering me hugs and listening to my rants. And for this guy who listened and tried to understand me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The morning of Valentine's Day I spent working on this abstract my boss wants us to submit for a conference. Right after I finished writing it, I received a phone call. And this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I had not bought him a gift yet and I felt so guilty so I left early for lunch and ate out with him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The day ended with me sitting in a bus to Baguio. I may not have spent the night with him dining in some fancy restaurant, watching a movie, or drinking the night away, but I'm sure that we're both happy. And that this man makes me ridiculously happy and I want him to stay in my life.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-54896119018929945612013-12-31T23:25:00.000+08:002014-01-11T19:50:55.041+08:00Goodbye 2013<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and all your drama.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and the whole month I delayed work on my manuscript. But I shall never forget so I may never, or at least avoid doing it again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and that stupid Valentine's Day I spent the whole night crying because of my manuscript and my then-boyfriend who couldn't be there when I needed him to. But I shall never forget my friends who stayed with me and made the night a little easier to let pass.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and that med school-vs-master's drama. But I shall never forget the first time I made a big decision for myself, regardless of what other people will think of me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and my undergraduate years. But I shall never forget all the fun, crazy, blurry, drunken nights, the all-nighters, the mini heart attack before checking my grades, the hangovers on morning classes, and the friends who made those four years even better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and the baby steps to adulthood. But I shall never forget so I may take charge of this new stage better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and that limbo. But I shall never forget so I may continue making firm decisions and taking opportunities.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and that stupid mistake. But I shall never forget so I may not make it again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and that heartbreak. But I shall never forget the first time I had my heart broken so I may remember that I am strong. I shall never forget the warm company I received from my family and my friends which was so helpful in getting me back to my feet, which made me realize that I wasn't broken at all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and those stressful days and drunken nights. But I shall never forget so I may remember to keep stress and alcohol low.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and all those nightmares that happened each time I was awake. But I shall never forget my housemates who woke me from these nightmares and helped me see how much better I can be. <strike>I shall never forget so I may have something to tell my children hahaha</strike></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Goodbye 2013 and those wrong moves and words. But I shall never forget so I may be more cautious on my actions <strike>and never lead on someone again</strike>. I shall never forget the first time I sang with only two of us as <i>soprano.</i> I shall never forget the first time I confessed my feelings for someone - not expecting any reply, but got it anyway. I shall never forget how I sort of believed in Santa Claus again for giving me what I wanted this Christmas. I shall never forget the first time I ran in the beach, felt free, and "saved" jellyfishes. And finally, I shall never forget the first time I felt afraid to fall in love.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-75348239006200732812013-12-24T20:43:00.001+08:002014-01-11T19:50:29.542+08:00Christmas Eve Post<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Remember that post where I said I'll write you a story when my heart gets broken? Forget that. He doesn't deserve a story. Remember the post where I said I'll write about the man in white? He wasn't a knight or an angel, after all. He was just a wanderer wearing a white cloak, asking for directions. I hope he reaches his destination soon. He still writes me letters sometimes; he keeps forgetting my advice. I reached the place ahead of him; I hope he arrives soon. This is such a beautiful place.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I would love to tell you how my 2013 went, but I'll save it for the year-end post instead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's not the first time our family's incomplete on Christmas Eve, but it's the first time two of my sisters are away. One's in Germany, getting a master's degree. But we're going to call her later and meet her "special friend". I don't know if they're already dating exclusively; I'll ask her later *wink wink* I promised myself I'll only get a boyfriend after she gets one. My other sister is...at "work." But you know what? She's not really at work. I don't understand why she would ditch our </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">noche buena </i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">for something else. She doesn't even live here anymore. Doesn't she feel like she should at least grant us her presence?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: justify;">But anyway, I'm still so, so happy. Even after long stressful hours in the office and so much academic work to do this break, I'm just happy that Santa gave me what I want this Christmas. I'm surprised I'm in his "nice" list, though. Santa's gift is another story. I'll tell you on the next post. For now, have a merry Christmas!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">For a Christmas-y feel, here's a picture of our tree with all the gifts I wrapped.</span></div>
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Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-88352992045392249352013-08-23T00:47:00.000+08:002013-11-03T09:05:05.577+08:00Mid-term Updates<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I know I promised telling you about my "new life" once I'm stable, so here goes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm now working as a a full-time research associate in our Institute, yay! I'm a part-time graduate student. Anyway, the research is about <i>Salmonella </i>but we're not starting it yet for some reasons so I'm working on some protozoa for the meantime. Also, I have to think of a thesis topic related to the project so I can work on it while doing the project. I'll think about it on the weekend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I also moved into a new house, with some old friends. Moving in was, um, okay. Staying is a little difficult, for some reasons I do not wish to disclose here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I also started reading "A Song of Ice and Fire"! I found a nice quote right here from "A Storm of Swords":</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>“Sometimes,” Catelyn said slowly, “the best thing you can do is nothing. When I first came to Winterfell, I was hurt whenever Ned went to the godswood to sit beneath his heart tree. Part of his soul was in that tree, I knew, a part I would never share. Yet without that part, I soon realized, he would not have been Ned. Jeyne, child, you have wed the north, as I did … and in the north, the winters will come.” She tried to smile. “Be patient. Be understanding. He loves you and he needs you, and he will come back to you soon enough. This very night, perhaps. Be there when he does. That is all I can tell you.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The thing is, he isn't Ned. And I'm not Catelyn. We're not married. And we are not in the beautiful world of Westeros. There are a lot of things going on in my mind about this - moving forward, dragging back, selfishness, selflessness, understanding, patience, hope, future. But I try to keep my mind occupied with more important things like graduate school, work, family and business, and travel. I don't want to waste my time thinking about stupid feelings that only <i>I </i>can feel, or thoughts that only <i>I </i>think of. The best part is I'm starting to care less - which is what I've been trying to do for so long to keep peace.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This post is unworthy, I know and I apologize. I'll try to write you a story some other time, if I get my heart broken again. This heart just won't break lately so nothing's become an inspiration. Oh wait, I have this story...about a man in white. I can't remember whether he was a knight, or just a warrior, or an angel or something. But I will write about him. Soon.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-64354884806373079532013-06-18T22:05:00.000+08:002013-06-18T22:05:06.055+08:00Here Comes Adulthood<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Let me give you a recap of my life since my last blog post.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I told my dad I didn't want to go to med school, and that I want to go to grad school instead. He gave his permission.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I graduated last April and had dinner with my family and my boyfriend.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I got accepted into the MS Microbiology program of the Institute of Biology, University of the Philippines, Diliman. Now I'm on my first year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I didn't get the scholarship program I applied for because I had 9 units of (read: too much) undergraduate courses to take.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'm applying for this position in the University which I will talk more about if I get accepted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In this new phase of my life, my energy is being drained by adult requirements instead of school. I applied twice for an NBI clearance for different purposes. I applied for the Civil Service Exam. I got a <i>cedula. </i>I got a <i>barangay </i>clearance and a <i>barangay </i>ID, my first government-issued ID. Not a registered voter yet, nor a licensed driver. I still have to work on those two. My next project is my TIN. I still have a long list of adult requirements to get, but I think I'll take a break after the TIN.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Adulthood isn't too welcoming, but I'm easily coping. I've queued longer and went back and forth to buildings in UP more, so getting government ID's and other requirements did not surprise me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'd love to talk more about grad school, but maybe I'll wait a little bit longer until I'm stable. Meanwhile, please wish me luck on my job application.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">See my new tags grad school and adulthood? And read my About Me section, I tweaked it a little. Teehee.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0Muntinlupa City, Philippines14.4081327 121.041466714.2850982 120.8801052 14.531167199999999 121.2028282tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-76426595542854429892013-03-02T00:27:00.000+08:002013-03-02T12:17:17.589+08:00Ssh...<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>Give all my secrets away</i>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A part of me wishes that I don't get in that school. I remember last Sunday when my dad asked me, "<i>Ano'ng gagawin mo 'pag di ka pumasa sa</i> [insert school here]?" I answered, "<i>Ayaw kong mag-aral sa hindi</i> [school 1] or [school 2]." Maybe it was the alcohol, I don't know, but it was the most honest answer I gave my dad since I can't remember when. I added that I will get a job, in a pharmaceutical company or a mining company, and retake the NMAT on December and retry my applications. What my dad said after was the most encouraging words I heard from him whenever I consider taking a different career. He told me that the company he works for is hiring biologists, although that job is only available abroad. At that moment, I thought he was considering it - that I can opt not to go to med school. I should have told him that I would love to get a master's degree in Microbiology instead. Because right now, that's what I want.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If I stay in UP, I will have a higher chance of getting an opportunity to get a PhD abroad. My thoughts about getting a PhD are still unsure, but I have already laid out my plans after graduation if ever my dad allows me to drop medicine. I will enroll in the MS Microbiology program right after graduation and teach part-time. After around two years, I can get a PhD or enter the industry. I promise I won't get stuck in the academe - it's the only thing I fear in getting a master's degree. If my dad won't allow me to study right after graduation, I will get a job, and then get a master's degree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I actually made a list of the pros and cons of medicine and biology. What I discovered is that studying medicine will grant me five years of housing, food, clothing, gas, and everything paid for my parents, and that when I turn 30, it's the only time I will actually experience being an adult. Studying microbiology, on the other hand, will take all those housing, food, clothing, gas, and etc. allowance from me, but it will give me independence and happiness. There was this time when I gave our dog antibiotics and I felt...happy and warm. It's as if I would be happier giving our dog her medications than giving a human patient his. My dad also noticed that - that I take care of our dogs very well. He even said that maybe I should take veterinary medicine instead. Is that a sign?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Now I have to find a way to tell my dad about this decision soon so I can inform the Institute that I want to join the Microbiology group. And that I will accept teaching load.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I may have some mild depression. I have been down for around three weeks now - breaking down and sleeping a lot. I have lost a lot of weight - I know because my pants have become loose. I was actually considering telling my dad about this to ask him to get me a psychologist. What's worse is that I may have become alcohol-dependent - drinking just so the problems will go away and I can laugh my heart out. But there's no need to worry, I did not initiate any drinking session this week because I am trying to cure myself. If I find myself sulking and crying again next week, I swear I'll tell my dad about this.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Here's another secret. Well, it's not actually a secret, but it will remain so until he notices. As difficult and painful as it is, I am setting him free. I only hope that I can get a little credit, a tap on the back and a heartfelt thanks. Just so I'll know it was worth it. Because right now I don't really know where to stand.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-40291637339393624802013-02-18T21:14:00.000+08:002013-02-18T21:14:26.013+08:00The Irony of Life<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you looked at the bright side of everything,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you found time for family, friends, and work,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you loved and expected nothing,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you shared that smile to a stranger,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you inspired the uninspired,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you hoped for the hopeless.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you finished something long before it's due,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you finished something right before it's due,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you believed in the doubtful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you let go for love,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you let your heart break in exchange for his happiness,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you needed him but you let him go,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you silenced your protests,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you cried but showed laughter,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you did everything you could,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you gave everything you had,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you felt the most painful,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When you swallowed all your pride.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And that one person you did all those for took no notice.</span>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-265215572363629452013-01-15T20:54:00.000+08:002013-01-15T20:57:43.829+08:00Something New, Something Different<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3-Dezb2AtzLgAidLeYSrTjYyBm1B4JQw_or1yirmPBAsG7PkiARSrwPn55f_tfNMLgxWyTqfavX8rz6bLTCl7cwOnSGKmUGeaaAqumbsZ3LjYvBhUeOBJ_lHgi8FZ6zvWTOLqujczD0J/s1600/P1152287.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge3-Dezb2AtzLgAidLeYSrTjYyBm1B4JQw_or1yirmPBAsG7PkiARSrwPn55f_tfNMLgxWyTqfavX8rz6bLTCl7cwOnSGKmUGeaaAqumbsZ3LjYvBhUeOBJ_lHgi8FZ6zvWTOLqujczD0J/s400/P1152287.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My sister gave me a planner, so I'm obliged to use it. I am also obliged to plan my life daily for the whole year. I normally don't use a planner because I trust my memory, but hey, it's worth a try. Maybe it could help de-clutter my life - what with thesis, org, and med.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">What if...I try something new and/or different each month?</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-51115783735137272832012-12-31T17:22:00.003+08:002013-03-02T00:37:14.539+08:00Obligatory End of Year Post<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here are some photos from my camera and a few from my friends'. Some of these you may have already seen here in my blog. Click a photo to enlarge. Happy viewing!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">These are taken sometime January to March. New Year's Eve in Makati with relatives from Mom's side. Outreach program in an orphanage. Dinner with an old elementary classmate. And a friend's birthday in Ortigas.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwD35YO37hE3e7z-MVzPAHLtFDlHSEyXNdACkjr2CZ_k-EXsRkptwH9DpIZ98p7eUngH21of-Q_zzp-j0U-JLDiCfCSROg3hEnrbMY9a-azYVkPP23LJB4VI8u8AHaymx2Ia3dx7PHvcIm/s1600/Blog+Post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwD35YO37hE3e7z-MVzPAHLtFDlHSEyXNdACkjr2CZ_k-EXsRkptwH9DpIZ98p7eUngH21of-Q_zzp-j0U-JLDiCfCSROg3hEnrbMY9a-azYVkPP23LJB4VI8u8AHaymx2Ia3dx7PHvcIm/s400/Blog+Post.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I have a lot of summer photos.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thai dinner with my sister. And Holy Week at Bangkong Kahoy.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFpkmGZkrDIIo4c1pJ0gnduCvI5hOvGW__9BQ2GhxSpcEwdQlUw2mz_BtRFIWysaZ4haAkmwxzjlTP7LHHeJNg2X-iDDRKYuCb0hfLhtNdpLknqJwVSbJOVFmC8vmzy9mZr2yAJioqooc/s1600/Blog+Post1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFpkmGZkrDIIo4c1pJ0gnduCvI5hOvGW__9BQ2GhxSpcEwdQlUw2mz_BtRFIWysaZ4haAkmwxzjlTP7LHHeJNg2X-iDDRKYuCb0hfLhtNdpLknqJwVSbJOVFmC8vmzy9mZr2yAJioqooc/s400/Blog+Post1.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I spent part of my summer in Sorsogon catching dragonflies and damselflies for my thesis. My field work ended with Dad picking me up in Legazpi and taking me to Tiwi where, after a long time, I had a taste of the famous DJC halo-halo again. It's the only halo-halo I enjoy eating. Some pictures here are from Laiya, where we spent a night. Unfortunately, I only have pictures of the shore because I was writing a paper.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDIGAkJCeMeBYTJV0yxB91p3uTbOv5XvBW3itzXWWOOvmJgoApuukJ_2TpGS8Bo_p9vPHTB-vJ1uGxHAp8_J9iqIYfgTOaT6Bi52H-Ve4Rmv93U4qf5PHFo-i-TshiC1o_RToX_phAf6CD/s1600/Blog+Post2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDIGAkJCeMeBYTJV0yxB91p3uTbOv5XvBW3itzXWWOOvmJgoApuukJ_2TpGS8Bo_p9vPHTB-vJ1uGxHAp8_J9iqIYfgTOaT6Bi52H-Ve4Rmv93U4qf5PHFo-i-TshiC1o_RToX_phAf6CD/s400/Blog+Post2.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We also spent a night at the Camayan Beach Resort in Subic with my aunt from New York and the rest of Mom's family. Of course we didn't forget to visit Zoobic Safari and see crocodiles, ostriches, camels, snakes, and tigers.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-OIOCiwEylqYKFnGzKmSf8DmNrSVHRwMsvYCj3dDLiqjwXWghaDjs_E-34V82p_oo4WE6cE8iVU8042z5Ra7VykRUezfBUWEnCecl0a1kND9jw20PB09Eu09wFDmIjKZmLS1UtgVPgne/s1600/for+blog+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-OIOCiwEylqYKFnGzKmSf8DmNrSVHRwMsvYCj3dDLiqjwXWghaDjs_E-34V82p_oo4WE6cE8iVU8042z5Ra7VykRUezfBUWEnCecl0a1kND9jw20PB09Eu09wFDmIjKZmLS1UtgVPgne/s400/for+blog+post.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The last wave of summer I spent with my high school friends, this time in Sariaya, Quezon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">First week of classes, yay! This was also the first time I tried the BonChon Chicken in Katipunan. The other half of the collage is a celebration of my sister and Dad's birthdays, and Father's Day.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgupGjhC1qEFYBUxoLfwXUgR9BOqASDnvilqYUhWu1rVVP4eFx2MIr_NCS3FFSIfhv6EEhpsoOYTK8Khvpk8bYYotiUTnltBCUI7Xt2WCNZ6bsGq5395hE4FxnRp4ItEPPDUJKeG5LvykXR/s1600/for+blog+post2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgupGjhC1qEFYBUxoLfwXUgR9BOqASDnvilqYUhWu1rVVP4eFx2MIr_NCS3FFSIfhv6EEhpsoOYTK8Khvpk8bYYotiUTnltBCUI7Xt2WCNZ6bsGq5395hE4FxnRp4ItEPPDUJKeG5LvykXR/s400/for+blog+post2.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This summarizes my academic load during the first semester: animal physiology, cell biology, ecology, and plant morphology and anatomy. No picture of me working on my thesis, though. Hmm.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCetKYNCxEZIJ5FGW188G34V9wG2tcfcf1A14Fz19pxpBIyAYkuW4JgOqTCAwDah62q7h44P6jy54ouXco8DwOybWIpa0D5jHZAz0dsDeN2Q6c03pCZ8SdbFXCqjHuPm4UdnVS_7JFiOD1/s1600/for+blog+post3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCetKYNCxEZIJ5FGW188G34V9wG2tcfcf1A14Fz19pxpBIyAYkuW4JgOqTCAwDah62q7h44P6jy54ouXco8DwOybWIpa0D5jHZAz0dsDeN2Q6c03pCZ8SdbFXCqjHuPm4UdnVS_7JFiOD1/s400/for+blog+post3.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Parties! Plus ecology field work in Atimonan, Quezon.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSRkTOuVhFpDnUIYgNTnIkdkVFCmvwFlkgWdzXf-EMZLSaVARZuYmQ72y6AveE9JFSX4Tv6l_UxezekJTCzaqqQLeHYghvK7FHrF8t7_3ecMpe8LerL3nhq11WcLX6POgZjnx7BClOVCp3/s1600/for+blog+post4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSRkTOuVhFpDnUIYgNTnIkdkVFCmvwFlkgWdzXf-EMZLSaVARZuYmQ72y6AveE9JFSX4Tv6l_UxezekJTCzaqqQLeHYghvK7FHrF8t7_3ecMpe8LerL3nhq11WcLX6POgZjnx7BClOVCp3/s400/for+blog+post4.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And more parties! Sometime August the UP Zoological Society celebrated its 60th Anniversary. We also bade farewell to our animal physiology lab instructor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">September is the birthday of many. One of my sisters and I celebrate our birthdays in September. That guy over there is also a September baby. I got lots of surprises: from my male high school friends, my <i>ka-bio</i>, and my family. I had Mediterranean lunch with the latter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My sister's birthday present for me is a ticket to the Phantom of the Opera. My aunt bought us dinner after - as a birthday present for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The first semester didn't end easy, but I'll skip on that. Here's a collage with my favorite girls (and Frank) during our graduation pictorial.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Second semester, yay! We won first runner-up in the annual College of Science Carolfest. Our contest piece was "<i>Paskong Anong Saya</i>", which ironically is one particular Christmas song I hate. Those on your right are from our Christmas party. Yep, I had my hair cut.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Can I afford to miss my last <i>Pailaw </i>and Lantern Parade in Diliman as an undergraduate? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then there's Holly, as in deck the halls with boughs of holly. She's a 2 month-old Labrador retriever. And as usual, we spent Christmas day visiting different extensions of our family.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Cheers!</span></div>
<br />Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-80754383584236063212012-11-13T22:12:00.000+08:002012-11-13T22:13:30.897+08:00Bring the hell weeks on<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Today is officially the first day of my [hopefully] last semester as an undergraduate. And tonight is a lazy night where there are no reports to be written, scientific papers to be read, lectures to be studied, data to be processed, and events to be planned. Tonight is also an unfortunate night because I am sick when I haven't even been stressed yet. Now I am trying to get to sleep because I don't want to be late tomorrow and I'm saving all my free cuts for next year, preferably on February and March. The funny thing is I can't sleep because I'm not tired. And now I suddenly missed those stressful weeks when a minute is too precious to waste - when my mind is concentrated on nothing but school and it doesn't go pondering on other things that won't do me good.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Tonight my mind is pondering on those things which won't do me good. I can't wait for reports, scientific papers, books, my thesis, and event plans to pile on my bed while I sort them out and find which one needs to be attended immediately. Not getting enough sleep because of work is so much better than not getting enough sleep because of some shallow feelings. I can't wait for work to take my mind off unwanted feelings. I know it's temporary, but that's what works. I used to think that one should sort and/or fix his baggage so he could forget. But then I can't forget because I don't find it forgettable nor forgivable. I'll fix my own stuff in time. Until then, I'll work hard and serve selflessly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Because that's what it takes to keep the story unfolding.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-41258560271951378852012-08-16T01:55:00.000+08:002012-08-16T01:55:31.859+08:00Hiccups<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My acads are piling along with my thesis and </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I don't know how to stop them or to reduce the pile. What I know is I got hiccups after some beer. This is my first time to try to stay awake, write, and resist the oh-so inviting bed. What I know is I found myself in Sarah's comfort after</span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">finding myself scrolling down the endless news in Twitter - the kind of news I'd rather not mention. The only hint I can give you is I hate it, I don't want to talk about it, and it reduces much of my humanity ignoring it. Because I don't like the idea, therefore, I should not be involved with it or anything involved in it. But current events tick me, as if I must give a damn, show my cares, and I don't know, express my opinion? But no, I'd rather not. It will certainly result in the clash of ideas and I don't want it. Maybe I can still get through this without caring much about stuff. But omg I just want to return to my old self who values my principles so much</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-10440487266343182832012-07-17T23:27:00.002+08:002013-02-18T21:18:33.756+08:00Three More Months<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">First wave of exams is over so I'm using this exam-free week to catch up with my thesis and, hopefully, maybe meet the deadlines I set for myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Let me tell you how I prepared myself for thesis week right after exam week. I watched Ice Age 4 and The Amazing Spiderman. I stress-ate at Burger King and I got bangs. I've been itching to have my hair cut short again, but hey, this is the longest hair I have had since I graduated from high school. For reasons I unconsciously make, I have never grown my hair long since 2009. And there's this creative shot we have to make for graduation photos and my friends want my hair long when the shot is taken.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I bought this oh-so precise ruler for my thesis. Measuring my specimens is difficult, but I'm enjoying using my new ruler. I should have bought calipers for convenience, but it might damage my hard-earned specimens.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The reason I'm writing despite my busy schedule is that I miss you, Blogspot. I've been meaning to write fiction to satisfy these feelings stirring inside me but with everything going around, I can't seem to find time. And I'm sorta lacking inspiration. Maybe I'll write one some time this week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I just want this term to end. For several reasons...</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-12682192939911704252012-06-30T20:11:00.000+08:002012-06-30T20:21:30.645+08:00I feel like I'm the personification of stress right now.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The first month is over. And there are still four months left before the semester ends. I'm so tired that I feel like the semester is almost over. I'm not even half-way there! Every day is a busy day, seriously. I don't even have time to bring my clothes to laundry service. I go home late and I go to school early. My body feels so used. And I have this problem in coping with stress, it started just this month. I'm trying so hard to break the habit. Maybe I should switch to ice cream instead.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Thesis. My adviser is asking too much from my thesis. I don't even know where to start. And I have three unidentified specimens. I hope they're new species :> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Org stuff. 'Nuff said. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Cell biology, animal physiology, plant systematics. They're killing me. I can't wait to graduate and leave for med school. I want a fresh start. A reset. No history. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm thinking of getting a planner because I have so many deadlines to beat. Every week I have at least two things to submit or accomplish. But I scrapped that idea of getting myself a planner because (1) so far, I have never missed a deadline and (2) I don't want my life planned. I mean, I have plans - go to med school, travel around the world, have Siberian huskies. It's just that I feel my whole life has been planned since I was little and all I get to decide are minor ones like which courses to take this semester, what to wear today, who to be friends with. With a planner, I'll feel even more pressured. I just need a little spontaneity, that's all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">You know what, it's funny I still have time to think about other things with all those deadlines in my head. I still get the chance to stop and spare a thought for you. Maybe I'll just study more and get better than average grades. Or maybe jog around the campus to lose all the weight I accumulated from stress-eating/drinking. Maybe write a story or learn a new song in the piano. I don't know. Anything to fill those gaps in my clock. Because lately I have been longing to find someone to talk/rant to after each stressful day. Oh wait. There's Frank.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">
</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-52065485913266720172012-06-12T23:42:00.001+08:002012-06-12T23:44:45.797+08:00Sem-Starter Post<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I should be telling you how exciting (and equally tiring) my summer was - chasing dragonflies and damselflies, climbing mountains, and swimming in the beach, but let me tell you tell you how I feel right now first.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">School starts tomorrow and like most students, I'm not yet ready. Not even a little. My class starts at 7:30 AM and I'm still here at home, which means I have to travel around two hours to be at school before class. You see, I haven't found an apartment yet. I'm not even enrolled yet! I guess the best thing that happened to me this week was getting my thesis proposal approved. And maybe slowly starting to get a grip on my chairperson responsibilities whatever. Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. This is the first time I proved to myself that high school is way different from college. That college is not just high school with more expensive books, like Serena van der Woodsen once said. And for the first time since that stupid summer, I felt like myself again, alive and strong. But still, those responsibilities are killing me. I never get some me-time! And then there's my thesis. Thank God, I'm halfway done with it. But my thesis adviser's really, really keen in dissecting your paper; he won't stop until you're sweating blood.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'd like to start telling you about my summer and show you photos of my dragonfly and damselfly collection, but I need a place to stay in until Thursday night. I need to find a place I can settle in until even just the end of the semester. I'm sorry for the shameless ranting, but I bet no one reads this blog anyway. It's just that...I'm not spending the night drinking and celebrating the beginning of the semester like I always do. But things change. And so do people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">PS</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">See my About Me section over there? It says there GRADUATING, yay! But I don't really want to leave. Not just yet.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-13545439363063418722012-04-08T00:46:00.002+08:002014-03-02T13:14:11.159+08:00Farms and Valleys<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My one week-long summer break is almost over. Though most of it I spent cooped inside the house playing various PC games, I must say that the little time I spent outside made my break a bit notable. That's due to a couple of reasons, one of which I'd rather keep to myself.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We visited the farm. It has been a long time since my last visit. I no longer visit as frequent as before because I was over catching and identifying insects. A lot of things have changed. There were no more sheep and piglets, only sows, chickens, catfish, and turkey chicks. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We have three cute turkey chicks. This one wandered outside its house and got lost. It ended up with the chickens, looking like an ugly duckling. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1fDG2AiRw6747XGcwR_5Yff0LQYK0P11GJVYUm330Y1t2dbIlt8DQELXky55bdymuKv68iPwSQuK1cDvp8mIW8Z06CQ_aDyoODAWyWyAW0TKp0gU7fB0jdXfpIUAQI9cmNW2dN6mhX_rf/s1600/P4060093.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1fDG2AiRw6747XGcwR_5Yff0LQYK0P11GJVYUm330Y1t2dbIlt8DQELXky55bdymuKv68iPwSQuK1cDvp8mIW8Z06CQ_aDyoODAWyWyAW0TKp0gU7fB0jdXfpIUAQI9cmNW2dN6mhX_rf/s320/P4060093.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; text-align: justify;">Unlike last summer, there were no lettuce, cauliflowers, and carrots to pick. But there were papayas and peppers.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQ6yLqR0CCX20GYks0EKdVWobnzDOElSpwuEiRftbwc8qk31h_4cFp7chVxhHKruGYJ_7E2TJzFheSbsUfLflumcl2P-LCa_FaT6KYBATyqtsWkVBTyGXTmqCHXYxjXaAMrftwhEefOeH/s1600/P4060087.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbQ6yLqR0CCX20GYks0EKdVWobnzDOElSpwuEiRftbwc8qk31h_4cFp7chVxhHKruGYJ_7E2TJzFheSbsUfLflumcl2P-LCa_FaT6KYBATyqtsWkVBTyGXTmqCHXYxjXaAMrftwhEefOeH/s320/P4060087.JPG" width="240" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8CYTVK87LYr6-sRg_WZ_rvFYqVB7wkaiZL6XN51WKTrUpKHByAxAUwi6PK6-e5t35gUh13yaRwK8kZnmAUGbf12DxT_aZro_4blmZbGsn3Mcx4nNZRbNmdW4sXvovnWXsGSuNpXTvzO4R/s1600/P4060097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8CYTVK87LYr6-sRg_WZ_rvFYqVB7wkaiZL6XN51WKTrUpKHByAxAUwi6PK6-e5t35gUh13yaRwK8kZnmAUGbf12DxT_aZro_4blmZbGsn3Mcx4nNZRbNmdW4sXvovnWXsGSuNpXTvzO4R/s320/P4060097.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And that's my sister showing off her dress.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivXZjO79-WXz3Xa0ThmnCnI-4zIBw6o8B9YWOgggaH5o3MwNDgYquO-SLB12AEVf67fjnMsUVfTPXjB1SUNF5_Iud_sPBn1uJfxd0r8pHrfPYYH_-k0B1QXM25H79Tbv8KpE3hCdZ5PkiJ/s1600/P4060112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivXZjO79-WXz3Xa0ThmnCnI-4zIBw6o8B9YWOgggaH5o3MwNDgYquO-SLB12AEVf67fjnMsUVfTPXjB1SUNF5_Iud_sPBn1uJfxd0r8pHrfPYYH_-k0B1QXM25H79Tbv8KpE3hCdZ5PkiJ/s320/P4060112.JPG" width="246" /></span></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She found these mushrooms growing out of a log, so we had a contest where the one who takes a better picture of the fungi wins.</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGmhW8NvOPMJtUwyhh73Hv7a0Rmu5lLINi_85FiR9D8aFhEFa42AZNCHSYSMWTS41D_vWVDkiILONOYb6AzeRY7chYHTrbEIPqme4J5LD7R5BEh4ZfLYIGfsbYjz4d3pQKW8e2LC_fsYkB/s1600/P4060134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGmhW8NvOPMJtUwyhh73Hv7a0Rmu5lLINi_85FiR9D8aFhEFa42AZNCHSYSMWTS41D_vWVDkiILONOYb6AzeRY7chYHTrbEIPqme4J5LD7R5BEh4ZfLYIGfsbYjz4d3pQKW8e2LC_fsYkB/s320/P4060134.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We had our chickens for dinner. I guess you don't want to read (or see) how those free range chickens ended up on our plates so let me skip to the next day where we drove to the mountains.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We went to <i>Bangkong Kahoy</i> the next day. It's a valley, seated between Banahaw and San Cristobal. The weather was hot and sunny, but windy, which cools the given conditions. We had lunch and raspberry shake first before starting the tour. Did I mention how long the shakes were prepared because they still had to pick raspberries from their farm? </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There were lots of raspberries growing along the way. This one's still too sour to eat.</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And then we rode along the zip-line. It wasn't that scary (in fact it's not scary at all) after you've crossed this...bridge. You have to cross the bridge so you can get to the other side and start the zip-line from there. Well this bridge, I refuse to call it hanging because it wasn't hung. It's more like...pinned to the ground. It's actually a wire mesh - some of its parts covered with wooden planks - narrow enough to accommodate your two feet. There were no handrails. You can either hold on to your harness or to the rope above your head where your harness is attached. It wasn't that bad if you don't mind crossing the bridge watching your feet and seeing a glimpse of the canopy of trees way below. You have to watch your feet because the bridge is narrow and you would certainly want to keep it balanced. Anyway, that's not the hard part. The bridge terminates by ascending to where the zip-line actually starts. Covering those last few meters up the slope was the hardest part, for most of us. My heart was beating really fast when I finally got to the other side. I feel like it wants to break free from my <strike>pericardial sac</strike> ribs. Too bad I can't show you how the bridge looked like. I hope I described it enough for you to imagine it, but <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8DMrRletqSR8KfRdHMAtL0-EVzRFZJjXUgmRg_AmoO19-xI8mHCuOjNjuw6I5_ITvP1nj0BfrgMxVyMZBDIi3oY519BpLDcsAmyZ3zxoCMYGn5IrShtbLJxzA1LJjcj7vGKQPETiEA1s/s1600/DSC-8466.jpg">this</a> would help.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My sister wants us to go at the same time, so there.</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was a short ride, but it was scenic and breathtaking. Next time I'll try zip-lines where I can lie on my belly and face down.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">My sister and my cousins went horseback riding after the zip-line experience until it was time for us to go home. I almost forgot to tell you that <i>Bangkong Kahoy Valley </i>offers trekking and bird watching! Too bad we don't have much time and most of us (my cousins which are children and my grandparents) can't go on a hike. Oh well, there's a huge possibility I'm taking field biology this summer, so hello mountain treks! I wish we can have a trip to the beach, even just once, and maybe see fishes, starfishes, crabs, whatever. I'd really like to hit the beach right now.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-67870354769879729512012-03-30T21:07:00.001+08:002013-06-18T22:06:59.831+08:00For One Hell of a Sem<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Tomorrow morning I'm finally going home to stay. My semester is officially over. Thank God. I finished packing two-thirds of my stuff yesterday. Tomorrow I'll pack the remaining third - dirty laundry and small stuff my handbag can carry.</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I bought a </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">balikbayan</i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> box to stuff them in. Upon sorting my things, I found my bluebooks from way back my first semester in UP.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Those aren't all of them, I don't know where my other bluebooks had gone. The one on top is an exam in Philosophy 1. I kept it because it's the only exam where I got full points for my essay. And I enjoyed my Philo 1 with Sir Rubicon Soberano.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Under those bluebooks are my Math 17, 53, and 54 exams, Chem 16 exams, the only Chem 31 exam I passed, Geog 1 exam, Bio 12 and 180 exams, and...I can't remember the others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I also found my first ever Form 5! I threw away all my other Form 5's since they had a different look since my second year. The new Form 5 just looked like a black print on white paper. I don't know where my Form 5 for the second semester of the academic year 2009-2010 had gone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">This is a "happy birthday greeting" my boyfriend made for me four years ago. There were three greetings, if I remember correctly, but I managed to save only one. He posted this one on the facade of the old building of our high school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And this is my <i>balikbayan </i>box. It's going to stay at my friend's house for the whole summer. Around this time next year, I'd probably have two of those boxes, but they're not going to stay at my friend's house anymore. They would be taken home and then maybe would be taken to my new home, wherever my med school is. But who knows? Maybe I could get a master's degree instead and stay here in Diliman. OHGODILOVEDILIMANTOPIECES</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Anyway, I'm so excited to go home, away from all the stress and pressure. Did I mention I passed that one subject which almost killed me? </span><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Ang sarap pumasa sa subject na buong sem mong iginapang.</i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> Now I'm just waiting for a Friday night out.</span></div>
Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-77033707679783821522012-03-23T20:50:00.002+08:002012-03-23T21:04:05.950+08:00Lost<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Remember those two things I told you about some posts ago? I didn't want to name those things until I'm sure of them. But since a lot of time has passed and so many things have happened, here you go: </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">1. <b>Thesis</b>. Last year in our field trip in Laguna (for an Animal Taxonomy Elective, which btw is Entomology), I realized who my thesis adviser was going to be. He's no other than my Entomology instructor. I talked to him and expressed my intentions in late February this year and he immediately accepted me as his student. Two weeks ago I had lunch with him, together with my co-advisees, and we talked about our plans. It's funny how at that time I felt like my life was falling apart - no direction, grades hanging loosely on a thread, but when I talked to him, I felt like he was putting me back on track. It's as if all the hard work for my studies and all are finally paying off. He approved of my topic; it's still a rough plan but we're planning to survey the diversity of dragonflies in some place in Sorsogon, Bicol in both wet and dry seasons.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">2. <b>Committee Chairperson</b>. I ran for a position in our organization. Honestly, I never imagined myself doing that. But things happened and there I was, presenting my GPOA in the <i>miting de avance</i>. I got the position, which means a busier year ahead for me. On August, we will be celebrating our 60th anniversary and we have big plans. We want a golden age.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So there you have it, thesis and the 60th anniversary. I wanted something to spend my time on. My past years in college consisted of me pulling someone to do this and that with me. It was like everyone was starting on their lives and I was stuck there, asking them to sit with me and waste time. I thought I just couldn't move on, but in fact, I chose to remain unmoved and delayed people from moving on. All along I thought I was doing a good thing saving my time for them but in truth, I was just a selfish person asking for much of their time just because I wanted them to be bored with me. I ended up turning my back on opportunities that would help me move on and grow. It's sad thinking that I wasn't like this when I was in high school. I was stronger and braver back then. I had dreams and I was determined to make them come true. It's sad how a simple lie can give you trauma and suck all the strength and courage within you.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Even with those two things planned for me next school year, I can't help but feel lost. I don't know whether to take summer classes (to lessen my load next year) or not because I'm still waiting for my thesis adviser's go signal. He's supposed to make arrangements for the survey if we intend to gather data for the dry season. March and April are the best months to collect dragonflies. He hasn't informed me yet whether he had arranged everything or not, so I'm stuck here waiting for him.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm thinking of my thesis, but I'm not even sure of passing all 17 units this semester. I don't even care about my scholarship anymore. I don't care if I get a 3.00 in all my subjects. Just...let me pass.</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I will be taking the NMAT on Sunday, but I'm not yet prepared. Instead of studying, I'm writing this and reading tweets about tips for the NMAT. Honestly, I'm having doubts in going to med school. I was so sure of wanting to be a surgeon until this year. One time last year I told my dad how much I'm enjoying Biology. He asked me if I wanted to be a biologist instead. He told me that either is fine. But I told him that I wanted to be a doctor, it's just interesting what biologists do. But what would people say if they learned I no longer want to be a doctor? That I got afraid of studying for another four or five years? But who the hell cares about what other people think?</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And then there's this feeling that I'm starting to love UP. For a long time I have been itching to leave UP and start anew. I hated UP because it gave me lot of painful memories. It reminded me of all the sadness, and anger, and lies, and secrets, and ghosts who still haunt me in my sleep. But right now it feels like all those got buried, except for the ghosts. I have been seeing them in my nightmares for two consecutive nights now. Just when I'm starting to enjoy, everything approaches the end. Next year is my last year as an undergrad in UP (hopefully, or not) and I don't want to leave yet. It was only last week when it has sunk to me that there is NO med school around Diliman. I'm leaving Diliman for sure. It's not that I'm afraid to leave my comfort zone; I just want to live in it a little longer. I'm even thinking of delaying my thesis for one semester, but that won't help if I'm going to med school. What if I take a master's degree? In microbiology, perhaps, or in marine science biology? But refusing to go to med school and pursuing a master's degree instead because I don't want to leave Diliman is not a good reason.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But what I really want to do right now is leave everything behind, escape reality. I try to sleep whenever I feel lonely, but those ghosts I mentioned before, they haunt me. Even sleep can't give me an escape. I just want to lie here on my bed, watch movies or listen to The Script and Coldplay. I didn't even go home today (in Muntinlupa) because I feel so stressed and depressed. I just want to travel far, faraway where no one can find me. And make no decisions. Just let the wind take me.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-78466312479052454392012-02-22T22:59:00.001+08:002012-02-22T23:03:17.041+08:00Too Much School Will Kill You<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I just want a break from all these cats, DNA's, and bacteria. They're too much to handle and they're killing me, ever so slowly. Two exams each week, papers and reports on weekends, cat stench on your fingertips, blah blah blah. What's worse is that your hard work doesn't pay off. I don't feel bad that I studied at the Sunken Garden while watching concerts at the UP Fair because I remembered everything I studied there. I don't feel bad that I partied last Monday night because I still wouldn't study [for my exam this afternoon] if I were at home anyway.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I can't wait for this semester to be over. I don't care if all my professors give me a 3.00; I just want to escape everything. Sometimes I secretly wish that the bus I was riding would crash and kill me. But that's a selfish thought because I'm guessing most of the passengers in the bus do not want to die yet. So instead I secretly wished to be hit by a car or a meteor or something while I'm about to cross the street or when I'm walking to my house. Now that would be a good escape. Sick, no? Hey, no judging!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's not that I want to kill myself. It's more like...I want others to kill me. But seriously, I don't have plans of killing myself. I'm better than that, trust me. I can only go as far as imagining.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And then there's my thesis which I haven't planned out yet. Which reminds me, I have to talk to my adviser tomorrow and I don't have anything to tell him yet. Oh, the NMAT! I almost forgot. It's on March 25. I was expecting it would be later, like April. I planned not to go to a review center and to just buy reviewers and study them on my own. But really, I haven't bought any reviewers yet. Anyway I have this make-up quiz tomorrow because of an exam in which lots of people failed. So I'm going now. <strike>Bye-bye.</strike> I meant, good night. Someone told me that it's better to bid good night than bid goodbye. There. Good night!</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-79379011703545758022012-02-19T07:57:00.001+08:002012-06-30T20:58:00.260+08:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
<strike><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I searched all night for you, darling. I braved the dark streets and the harsh wind. I think I saw you one time or two - under a lamppost, across the street. But I knew it couldn't be you, you couldn't be true.</span></strike></div>
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<strike><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I waited all night for you, darling. I stayed up reading my book and sipping my coffee. You called in the morning to say you were too tired. I knew asking for you was too much. All that waiting still wasn't enough.</span></strike></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-62897093499200561882012-01-30T16:47:00.004+08:002012-01-30T17:10:56.065+08:00Life Decisions of an Undergrad<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Here I am making decisions that will dictate how my last (hopefully) year as an undergraduate would fare. There is Number 1. I hope I made the right choice. Although I still have to tweak it a little. I haven't had the time to make that decision about Number 1 because school is killing me. I just came back from three exams, for God's sake! Note to self: Settle everything under Number 1 as soon as possible to avoid mishaps.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There comes Number 2. This is something big, although Number 1 is bigger. Unlike Number 1, I have already settled everything under Number 2. Several months back, I was sure that I would never ever ever consider Number 2. But you know what? During those times I take a break from studying in the wee hours of the morning and I stare out of my bedroom window, I realized how small the world I was keeping myself in. How long have I been limiting myself to the same people I know, the same places I know, the same things I do? For years I had held myself back for a silly reason: to save my time for the ones I love the most. I said no to opportunities. I closed the doors that open before me. I turned away from hands that reach out to me. I did those just so I could attend to my priorities without hassle. So that night I paused genetics, comparative vertebrate anatomy, and microbiology, I thought that it was my turn to grab the opportunities and care less about what I might leave behind. Maybe it 's time that I forget my silly reason and accept the fact that I cannot pause <i>our </i>lives without pausing my own. What purpose would my spare time serve when the ones I have been saving my time for are not here to receive it? I feel stuck. I, myself, had put my own life on hold. But now it's time to press play and move forward. I need to care less about what might get left behind. Those who wish/were meant to stay will follow anyway. And this time, I am setting my own pace. Those who are too slow will get left behind. Because that's the real world, isn't it? In the struggle for survival, the fittest win out at the expense of their rivals. (Charles Darwin)</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And if given a chance to make a change, why not take it? I remember I once told a friend about something wrong within a particular system. I was hoping he'd say something like, "I want to change the system," but he did not. I must admit I was a little disappointed. But I know I can make a difference with Number 2. So I will be that change I want to see.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-62692178783216589632012-01-24T20:41:00.001+08:002012-01-24T20:45:53.260+08:00The Cave<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I thought it was hail but when I looked up, it was actually the sky. The sky was falling. The sky was breaking and was falling to pieces. I hurried to find shelter. I stayed under the shed while watching the sky fall. Suddenly, there was a loud thud from a distance. It was followed by more thuds and thumps, even louder this time. I turned around to see where the sounds were coming from. The trees were falling down. The ground was breaking just as the sky was and the trees were being pulled down. I had to run. I ran as fast as I could to places where the ground was still firm and unscathed. I stopped to breathe. Then it rained. I found myself in the middle of a meadow. I paused, trying to remember something. Something that happened many years ago in this exact place. I couldn't recall what it was, so I started running again. I saw a man standing by a short fence; he was looking out at a bay. I approached him to warn him about the peril that was coming.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Sir?" I asked.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The man turned around. I knew this man! I have met him before. At the coffee shop? Bookstore? University? The man touched my hand and smiled. Of course it was him! I could not be mistaken.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I never thought I'd find you here," I said.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I was waiting for you," he replied. "How did we ever grow apart?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Hush, love. I'm here now. We must go. The sky is falling, the ground is shattering, and I fear the darkness will last forever. Let's move."</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"There is no escape. This was meant to happen. No matter how good you hide, you will be found. And you shall then be destroyed, together with the seas, the skies, the soil, and the stars."</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I held his hands and I wept. "But we can still run, can't we? We can prolong our existence even for just a few minutes. I need time. Hold me in our last seconds together."</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And there under the moonlight, he held me and whispered, "You do not know how long I have waited to have you back in my arms. How did we ever grow apart?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Let's run," I said. "We still have time. Let's run and hide somewhere only the two of us know. This could be the end of all."</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I know," he replied. He grabbed my hand and we ran and ran until we reached a place familiar to both of us. He took a key from his pocket and unlocked the iron gate. He locked the gate as soon as we entered the mouth of the cave. We stepped into the darkness and moved deeper into the cave. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I could die right now if you would just hold me," I said. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He kissed me on my forehead and looked away. "I have an unfinished business. Would you stay here and wait for me?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Again? But I could be dead when you return!" My voice echoed across the room. "And you wonder how we've grown apart?"</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I won't take long," he said.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I sat on the corner of that dark, empty cave and watched him disappear. I heard the lock click and the gate open.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-69239530909111352072012-01-21T14:12:00.003+08:002012-06-30T21:11:57.494+08:00The Lonely<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Why do you keep doing that?" She asked. The pale moon illuminated her as she stood by the open window. She was furious, but beautiful still.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Doing what?" I asked her. I could not think of a better reply. She was enraged. I did not know what to do.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Blowing the candles, shutting the drapes, opening the windows at night. You know I hate it when you do those things," she said as she struggled to pull the windows shut.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Her hair was ruffled by the wind, her face wrathful, and her eyes sharp. She looked at me and I can tell that in her mind she is ripping my flesh and pulling out my heart. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I brushed her hair away from her face. I looked at her. She was perfect, even with her angry eyes. I knew she was cold and I had to keep her warm so I leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, but it seemed that she felt even colder. I put my hands on her shoulders so I could warm her but she put my hands away and said, "I thought we agreed on this." With that, she left me in the cold darkness where I truly belong.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The windows, I have to get them repaired. Every night I have to wake in the middle of it because the wind has opened my windows. I'm sure there are just some loose screws. Somehow I can't get this place warm and brightened. The cold atmosphere in the house always blows out my candles. Opening the drapes do not do much difference. And then there's a shadow. It's as if it was following me everywhere I go, watching everything I do. I was never sure about it until I arrived home late one night.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I went up to my bedroom and lighted a candle. Just as I was starting to undress, I noticed that the window was open and the wind was blowing through the drapes. I walked towards the open window and there, just behind my drapes, stood a young man. He was tall and skinny and his skin was pale. He scratched his head which ruffled his hair even more and extended his hand. "I'm the Lonely," he said. I gazed at my guest. His hair was dark and so were his pants, his coat, and his tie. He seemed odd, but he looked nice. "Felize," I said as I shook his hand.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I made soup for both of us that night. "Why do you sit across me? You can sit closer. I won't mind," I motioned for my guest to come nearer. The dinner table was very long and my candle illuminated only a limited area. I couldn't see his face clearly.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"It's too bright," he answered, pointing to my candle.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"What did you say your name was again? I'm sorry, I don't think I got it right."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"The Lonely."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"The Lonely? Who would name their son like that? I'm sorry. Am I being rude? I'm just excited to have company in this cold and dark house."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"You can call me Tristan if my name bothers you," he said with a smile. It was the first time I saw him smile. He looked shocked and bewildered since we met upstairs.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Tristan sounds nice. Hey, you haven't touched your food yet!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"It's too hot."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Really? I've already eaten half of mine. It's tastier when it's warm," I said as I took another sip. He grabbed his spoon and began to take a sip.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">He began living with me. Or I began living with him? I'm not sure. All I know is that he has been living there even before I bought the house.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Tristan!" I called out. "It's dark. Why didn't you light even just a few candles?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"You're back early. Come, I made dinner." He took off my coat and led me to the dining room. I looked out for tables or chairs I might bump into, but it looked like he has cleared the path for me. "How can you cook? I thought you hated warmth and brightness?" I asked. He lighted a candle and gave it to me. He took a few steps back and I moved closer to the dining table."Sherbet!" I exclaimed. I placed the candle at the far end of the table and we began to dig into the frozen treat. There were lime sherbet, orange sherbet, pineapple, raspberry, cantaloupe, strawberry, grape, you name it. The evening was just like him, cold but sweet.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Where were you?" I asked as I felt his weight sink on my bed. "I've been looking for you."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Just out," Tristan replied coldly.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Just out? You were out for a whole month! I walked the town every night, searching for dark places where you might be lurking." I raised my voice this time. He moved his finger towards my lips to silence me, but he quickly pulled away as soon as he touched my lips. It's as if I burnt his finger.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"You're sick. I knew you couldn't take the coldness; I had to leave. But you searched for me each night, now your health has gone worse."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Why don't you just keep the windows shut? And keep the candles and the fireplace burning?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Please don't be mad. You know I have to live in cold and in darkness."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Stay away from the light then. And find a room where you can keep the windows open all night long."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"It's not just the chilly wind outside. My presence alone makes this house cold and unpleasant."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I arrived home late again. The fireplace was lit and Tristan was sitting across the room, by the shut windows, gazing at the moon. It was full. I walked towards him and stroked his messy hair. "Why don't we go to the lake tonight?" I asked him.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"It's freezing," I said as I wrapped my arms across my chest to keep the wind from blowing my coat. The moon was shining brightly upon Tristan's pale face, but he didn't mind. He was untying the small row boat from the dock. He helped me into the boat and started rowing. Soon we found ourselves in the middle of the majestic lake, under the large moon which gleamed on both of us. "The moon is the only radiant thing I enjoy seeing, next to your smile," Tristan said turning to me. I burst into laughter because I wasn't used to him teasing me. He was always cold and serious.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It was freezing outside. I closed the door behind me and lighted a match. "Tristan?" I called. I found him sitting by an open window, the drapes and his hair being blown by the wind.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Why do you keep doing that?" I asked.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Doing what?" The shadow replied.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"Blowing the candles, shutting the drapes, opening the windows at night. You know I hate it when you do those things," I said as I struggled to pull the windows shut. It was chilly and the wind was blowing hard.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I'm sorry," he whispered as he brushed my ruffled hair away from my face and kissed me on my forehead. It was the coldest kiss. It felt as if my face were frozen.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"I thought we agreed on this," I said. I put away his pale hands which were clutching my shoulders and left him to bask in the comfort of his darkness.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I went straight to bed. I didn't want to deal with him anymore. He knew how much I loathed the darkness. He knew how much I couldn't stand the cold. He knew that it makes me ill. Why does he keep doing things that he knew would hurt me?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I woke up the next morning to find out that something in the house seemed different. My furniture were still in their same positions - the drapes, the couches, the tables. But something in them has changed, their colors were more vibrant. The drapes were tied to let the daylight in and brighten my house. The sun was shining on me as if it was restoring my health. I have never felt this warm for a long while. It was like I had been frozen for years! I knew then that Tristan had left for good. We could never live together. For I was fire and he was ice, I was day and he was night.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6079313879574974354.post-31814431632983161552012-01-01T19:43:00.003+08:002012-01-01T19:53:02.295+08:00The Holidays<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I had a blast.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Three days before Christmas Eve, my mom took me shopping for gifts. It was exhausting, but she bought me a pretty gift.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jkHnU3I-mT0/TwA-rlE7H2I/AAAAAAAACLM/se7XUGSNFwg/s1600/P1012147.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jkHnU3I-mT0/TwA-rlE7H2I/AAAAAAAACLM/se7XUGSNFwg/s320/P1012147.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">She asked me to wrap everything the next day, which I did. I love wrapping presents. There was only one thing I hated that day, that thing in my eye. I don't know how I got thing. I just woke up and then there's something inside my eye. It was stuck there the whole day. When I got so irritated, I called my dad and told him about it. He's always the first one I consult when it comes to my health. Btw he's not a doctor, he's an engineer. He advised me to go the hospital and ask someone from the emergency room to attend to me. I did, although I think it's really funny to be in an emergency room just because I have something in my eye. The nurses never let me walk; they always let me use the wheelchair even if I have to walk just to the next room. It makes me feel like I'm so sick. After cleaning my eyelid and flushing a liter (yes, a liter, seriously) of sodium chloride solution into my eye, nothing happened. I can still feel that thing in my eye. The doctor told me the thing must have been flushed away and what I was feeling was a scratch. She asked me to see an ophthalmologist in the morning.</span><br />
<br />
<div><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Mom made me wear an eye pad so I wouldn't get too irritated when I feel the thing. I have a picture of myself with the eye pad, but I prefer not to show it to you :p</span></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I waited in line for an hour. The patient before me was an eleven-year-old boy whose one eye was swelling. When I finally met my doctor, he made me peek into an apparatus so he could check my eye. It turned out that it wasn't a scratch. That one liter of sodium chloride solution didn't flush the thing away. He said that it looked like some part of an insect's exoskeleton. And that particular insect loves beds. So that's why I had it when I woke up. I trembled when I saw him get a syringe and a needle. For a moment there I thought my eye was going to get a shot. He used the needle to poke the thing off and he wiped it on a cotton swab. The rascal looked just like a speck of dust. He told me that my eye had a little scratch and that it would heal before Christmas.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I woke up the next morning to find out that it was really gone. Mom and Dad were working at the farm and they would be back in the evening, in time to make the <i>Noche Buena</i>. They were so tired when they got back that they drifted off to sleep almost immediately. Mom woke up at around 11PM only to find out that it was too late to cook. She made haste to cook anyway. We ate at around 2AM and my sister, who was spending the holidays with our relatives in the US, called. We told her how much we enjoyed our Mango Bravo cake from Conti's (we always have that cake for Christmas Eve) and that she missed it. And since my sisters and I had been nice all year, we gave her our wish list. Teehee.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hfRIF7Wdo_s/TwA_p0HGN9I/AAAAAAAACLc/ZUnty6ZY2Cw/s1600/PC252062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hfRIF7Wdo_s/TwA_p0HGN9I/AAAAAAAACLc/ZUnty6ZY2Cw/s320/PC252062.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Noche Buena by Mom</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-21Jx7iAPZpQ/TwA_JTWTGnI/AAAAAAAACLU/9nxedtkQ8XE/s1600/PC252059.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="263" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-21Jx7iAPZpQ/TwA_JTWTGnI/AAAAAAAACLU/9nxedtkQ8XE/s320/PC252059.JPG" width="320" /></a> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">A closer look at Conti's Mango Bravo</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I thought the next day would be just like any other Christmas Day - visiting <i>Lolo</i> in San Pablo, Mom's side in Makati, and then Dad's side in Para<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">ñ</span></span>aque. For some reasons, Dad's side in Para<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 19px;">ñ</span></span>aque couldn't prepare dinner so we had dinner at our place instead. It was a surprise dinner so we had to get home before them, clean our messy house, and make dinner. The cramming was successful. Dinner was followed by exchanging gifts, yay!</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--mjviRcM6HY/TwA-Cxg_deI/AAAAAAAACLE/hpMFM2HyEg4/s1600/P1012093.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--mjviRcM6HY/TwA-Cxg_deI/AAAAAAAACLE/hpMFM2HyEg4/s320/P1012093.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Those are my cousins with <i>Lolo</i></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I asked Dad to take me to Recto so I could buy cat, fish, and chicken bones. He used to go there back in college. All that walking around Manila gave his legs muscle pains so he asked me to give him a massage. He told me that he's becoming old. That he gets tired easily. He told me that I should have been born earlier so he could take me to Recto and buy stuff without him getting tired easily. I told him to jog regularly again.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I haven't touched my bones yet. Maybe when I get back to school. Anyway, I got a haircut. I was actually torn between growing it long or cutting it. I want nice, long hair to style on December (because my sister's engaged but I don't want to be the one to break it to you but who reads this blog anyway?). However, short hair is easier to maintain and my long hair makes me look ten years older I don't know. I'd post a picture of my hair, but I'm afraid I don't have a nice picture of it.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">We spent the New Year's Eve in Makati, with my mom's relatives. She said she wanted noise and all, well, we got those.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NJpc1y7hOZg/TwBAkiKZWDI/AAAAAAAACLs/N6ZCvDnrp08/s1600/PC312116.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NJpc1y7hOZg/TwBAkiKZWDI/AAAAAAAACLs/N6ZCvDnrp08/s320/PC312116.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ddbDwR_b-GA/TwBAE5bKbwI/AAAAAAAACLk/jERUTBawN3c/s1600/P1012133.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ddbDwR_b-GA/TwBAE5bKbwI/AAAAAAAACLk/jERUTBawN3c/s320/P1012133.JPG" width="306" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Those are my cousins, Deia and Polo.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Cheers for 2012! Break a leg.</span></div>Alyzzahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06772615224041742011noreply@blogger.com1